enduringplum: (Cinderella)
( Jun. 7th, 2007 05:37 pm)
Anyone who's ever read my LiveJournal should know by now that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), which has caused me a lot of pain and contributed to other medical conditions, specifically my interstitial cystitis. For the last year, my husband and I have given up using any form of birth control, because we both felt confident that I would not be able to conceive without outside medical help, but that if I did happen to conceive, that we were in a time of our lives where we could accept a pregnancy and everything that goes along with that.

Of course, we haven't conceived, although I have had an instance of either a chemical pregnancy or my ovarian cysts mimicking pregnancy symptoms. So, on the 12th we're going to visit my ob/gyn for a regular checkup and to discuss fertility treatments. I don't want to do anything too extreme- that just goes against my personal beliefs- but I am not opposed to taking an orally-administered fertility drug, like Clomid, or undergoing ovarian drilling to stimulate my ovulation. I will not try In-vitro fertilization, both because of the expense and the selfishness I feel it implies. I am also opposed to using donor sperm or donor eggs, because once it comes to that what is the point? I might as well adopt an unwanted child who is just as deserving of a home, if not moreso.

My main reason for wanting to conceive at this age is that I no longer want to suffer from such severe hormone imbalances and pelvic pain, otherwise I would prefer to wait several more years before considering having a child. If we come to learn that I am not able to conceive even with the help of some of the less-extreme fertility treatments, we would just prefer to adopt an older child when we're both a little older. If we get to that point, then I'm going to have a partial hysterectomy to remove my ovaries and fallopian tubes, otherwise I'll have them removed after we have a baby.

If it weren't for my husband, I would probably have already had my ovaries removed, much to my mother's horror. Not because I've never wanted to have children, but because I have no problem with adoption and I have a HUGE problem with my PCOS!

This is going to be a time of big changes in our life, both because of this and because we'll be buying a new home soon and I'm going to be going back to school, but online so I can attend classes on a flexible schedule, which is something I need because of my health situation(s). We're also looking in to possibly starting our own business, but I won't be going back to school or attempting to start any sort of business until we move in to our own home; I just need that firm base-of-operations to keep myself grounded!

We did finally get a letter from the Road Home Program, but, ironically, we can't get the money until we buy a house and we can't buy a house until we get the money. It's asinine, but with my parent's help we're going to work it out.
enduringplum: (Default)
( May. 3rd, 2007 03:42 pm)
I finally, FINALLY began my period! Tuesday was the first full day and so far it has been especially bloody and unusually painful, especially last night; while I often have pain from my left ovary, last night I was having sharp stabbing pains throughout my super pubic area that were intense enough to make my eyes reflexively well up with tears. I don't think I was experiencing a chemical pregnancy, but it is possible, especially when I consider that in the past even my worst PMS symptoms have only lasted one or two days at most.

I'm still having those extremely sharp, sudden pains from time to time, so I'm trying to take it easy today. I'm also feeling pretty emotional, but that's normal for me during my period.

A cutesy, little trend I've noticed amongst various websites concerned with trying to conceive is the use of magic "baby dust." Many websites offer a packet of "baby dust," which I assume is glitter, FREE with each purchase and some of the women who post on related boards wish eachother "plenty of baby dust." I think it's asinine and it makes me grit my teeth in frustration. I don't understand why so many women all over the country are so baby-obsessed and childish. It shouldn't bother me that other women find comfort from something like that, even though I find it juvenile. I think what really bothers me is that so many women are so desperate for a biological child that they'll spend thousands of dollars on procedures like in-vitro fertilization when for less of an investment they could adopt a child from America or many other countries around the world; it bothers me even more when these people invest that much money and time in conceiving more than one child through artificial means. What would be so different about adopting a child? Yes, you would miss the experience of being pregnant, but we can't always have everything we want and most women water-down the experience of the birth process by taking pain killers or having an epidural, while some others go one step further by electing to have a cesarian delivery. I understand that everyone has a different pain threshold, but I am not going to miss out on the most intensely sensual experience of my life if I am able to conceive with minimal scientific intervention!
enduringplum: (Default)
( Apr. 29th, 2007 06:02 pm)



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